Since childhood, I have witnessed family feuds in almost every family, including mine, relatives, around my area and everywhere I went, have seen situations going from bad to worse, and have seen people who once lived in harmony turning from friends to foes, fighting for something they would have never imagined they will fight for. This mostly happens between siblings and sometimes with parents who they grew up with. There comes a situation when they don’t even want to see each other and eventually, a good family is broken, they get separated. This has been a sad story in almost every family but the good thing is that it’s not 100%, many choose to live in harmony.
It doesn’t happen in a day or month; many try to solve this but still they fail.
But why this happens? What’s the root cause? Why do many fail to save their family?
These may be some reasons that I have observed:
Lack of good education – This is a big problem in India, according to wikipedia, the male literacy rate is 82.14% while the female literacy rate is 65.46%. The numbers have improved over the years but still a big task to make it to 100%. Even those who are literate, not sure that all would have got proper education, especially in rural areas. When I say good education it should include everything that is required to live a good life, but mostly we are taught to get some degrees and earn money, we are not taught life skills. The relationship is one of those life skills.
Lack of good communication – Bad communication often results in conflict, if communication is not constructive, it leads to confusion and the other party can start making negative assumptions. It usually happens and causes conflicts. Good communication involves a constructive discussion and works on resolving issues through a dialogue.
Bad Language – Using aggressive, foul, and rude language can make things from bad to worse. A simple argument turns into a fight when things are not addressed sensibly, aggression is not the solution.
Lack of leadership – If two people are fighting, someone from the family especially elders has to step up to stop that fight/argument by acting as a mediator. But, in many cases, it doesn’t happen, even they get involved which makes things worse. Elders have to behave like leaders and must try hard to maintain a good environment in a family.
Backbiting – This is something everyone needs to avoid as it may anger your colleagues, closed ones, or loved ones and may break your relationships with them. You can imagine how bad it is when you do it for your family members; this may cause serious conflict.
Jealousy – Those who are jealous, can’t be happy seeing other success or happiness and keep getting anxious about it. This also happens within a family and becomes a reason for conflict. It starts with comparison and constantly doing it causes jealousy.
Provocation – Some people around you can’t see you and your family living happily and they will find a way to create bad blood in your family. These people may be very close to you or sometimes in your family.
Kids involvement – Some people prepare their kids for revenge and it continues for another generation. They feed their kids’ minds with all the negatives and bad things that happened to them. By doing this, they are only ruining their kid’s future and destroying family culture.
