Recently, I came across a report stating that in Varanasi, India, around 1,500 marriages took place in a year, while 2,250 divorce cases were filed in the same period. This is certainly not a healthy sign for a society that values long-lasting family relationships. This is the number of just one city but other cities have also seen significant rise as researched online.
The main reasons as mentioned in the report are extramarital affairs, dowry demand, and domestic violence.
Such numbers indicate that something unusual may be happening in our society. In India, families often spend a significant amount of money on weddings to create beautiful memories. Some people even sell land or jewelry to make the wedding day special and unforgettable.
However, the data seems alarming. The issue is not only that the couple separates; both families often have to face many consequences, including financial loss, social embarrassment, legal issues, mental stress, and more.
Let’s try to understand the reasons that are often reported in the news. However, there may be other reasons as well that go unreported, based on what I have observed.
What exactly failing the marriages?
Disloyalty
Loyalty is essential in marriage. When commitment to the relationship is broken, it can deeply damage the trust and emotional connection between partners. According to some media reports, cases of extramarital affairs have risen in recent times and appear to be increasing, based on people’s behavior observed on the dating app Gleeden.
Dishonesty
Honesty is one of the most important foundations of a strong relationship. When honesty is compromised, trust begins to weaken, and rebuilding that trust becomes difficult.
Disrespect
Arguments may sometimes happen in any relationship, and occasionally people may hurt each other unintentionally. However, repeated disrespect can gradually damage the emotional bond and may eventually threaten the stability of the relationship.
Consistently negative or hurtful behavior toward a partner can lead to resentment and emotional distance. Over time, silence and disconnection may grow, which can weaken the relationship.
Immature Marriages
Some studies suggest that marriages that occur at a younger age have higher divorce rates compared to those who marry later. Individuals who marry between the ages of around 28 and 32 may experience fewer divorces. One possible reason is that people at this stage are often more emotionally mature and financially stable, which helps them manage responsibilities better.
Lack of Education
Many of us do not fully understand the meaning of marriage and relationships. Instead, we often grow up with unrealistic expectations shaped by social pressure, movies, and online content. When expectations remain unmet, conflicts can begin, leading to other issues. Frequent disagreements may slowly damage the relationship and sometimes even lead to divorce.
Marriage is a commitment from both partners to support each other through both good and difficult times. There will be moments of happiness, but there will also be challenges and this is what marriage couples need to understand instead of thinking emotionally. Sometimes expectations are fulfilled quickly, sometimes they take time, and sometimes they may not happen exactly as planned. What truly matters is standing by each other and working together through every phase of life.
Lack of Understanding
Marriage and relationships require learning and awareness. People can gain knowledge by reading, seeking advice from elders, discussing with trusted friends, or learning through reliable resources. Understanding relationships better can significantly improve how couples handle challenges.
Marriage is not a business that runs on calculations or transactions. It is an emotional partnership where both individuals move forward together, sharing responsibilities and supporting each other.
A healthy marriage is built on mutual love, respect, trust, patience, and understanding. These qualities do not develop instantly; they require time, effort, and continuous care from both partners.
Impatience
Many people expect everything to develop quickly, love, trust, emotional bonding, care, and mutual understanding. In reality, these things take time.
For example, the bond between parents and children or siblings grows stronger over the years through shared experiences. Similarly, couples also need patience and time for their relationship to develop, deepen and blossom.
Unrealistic Expectations
Excessive expectations can create unnecessary pressure in relationships. It is important to focus on responsibility, understanding, and commitment toward each other. Basic and practical expectations are natural in a relationship, but unrealistic expectations without understanding circumstances can create conflict.
Human beings naturally have personal expectations, but excessive self-centered thinking can harm relationships. Instead of focusing only on what we want, it is equally important to understand the responsibilities and commitments that come with marriage.
Lack of Commitment
When we think of marriage, it is not a fairytale as often portrayed in movies. There are always commitments and responsibilities throughout married life that couples have to fulfill, and no one can turn their back on them. Failing to meet these responsibilities often leads to conflicts, which can create bitterness in the relationship.
Final Thoughts
A strong and lasting marriage requires patience, understanding, and continuous effort from both partners. When couples focus on communication, respect, and shared responsibility rather than unrealistic expectations, relationships have a much stronger chance of lasting and growing over time.